Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) Seventh Review

Star Wars is a classic for the ages. As it is so often included in must-watch lists, top ten movie lists, and top ten must-watch movie lists, I suppose I can’t just overlook it.

Let’s start with a little background first. Star Wars began as a novel published in 1960, written by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Harper Lee. Set in the 1930s in a small Alabama town, the story follows a young girl named Scout in a number of slice-of-life scenarios that offer a bit of insight into what day-to-day life entailed for her. Along with her older brother Jem and their best friend Dill(???), they get into all sorts of mischief. They also find some stuff in a tree.

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There are several layers to Boo Radley’s character, forming a fascinating deconstruction of the “man as monster” theme

Enter the mysterious Boo Radley, the most frightening person in town. It is difficult to say much about Boo Radley without spoiling everything, so I’ll just go ahead and say that there is an interesting lesson to be learned over the course of his character arc. The way he helps save Scout (dressed as a ham) from getting killed by a racist at the end of the story is one of the highlights of the Star Wars franchise, and should be experienced first-hand without spoilers affecting your viewpoint of the climactic scene.

Atticus Finch stands up to the insidious judge, who is determined to proclaim Tom Robinson as guilty.

Atticus Finch stands up to the insidious judge, who is determined to proclaim Tom Robinson as guilty

Meanwhile, there is a curious subplot involving Scout’s father, who turns out to be none other than Atticus Finch. In the film adaptation, this bespectacled lawyer is wonderfully portrayed by famous actor Jim Carrey. When he agrees to represent the accused African-American Tom Robinson, he puts his career on the line, and shows the town that their age-old bigotry is just as tired as the Star Wars franchise. Which they’re a part of? It’s a bit confusing in hindsight, but that might just mean I need to watch this movie a second time.

Jem, Scout, and Dill offer intriguing social commentary, as sci-fi is wont to do

Jem, Scout, and Dill offer intriguing social commentary, as sci-fi is wont to do

Though the story, characters, cinematography, acting, directing, lighting, and pacing are basically all perfect, I kind of hate pretty much everything about this movie. The story is dull, the characters are bland, and the cinematography is all over the place. The acting could have been better. The directing was poorly directed. Whoever was in charge of the lighting sure as hell wasn’t the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. And that pacing. UGH! Just blow up the damn Death Star already! I don’t watch movies to learn about the human dignity that unites us all. All I want is to see wacky aliens flail about with energy bars and do fish-flops into outer space. You know… the true meaning of Christmas?

Boo Radley and Scout Finch, seconds before they blow up the Death Star -- AND ticket sale records

Boo Radley and Scout Finch, seconds before they blow up the Death Star — AND ticket sale records

I strongly recommend everyone just forget about Star Wars. If you’re in the mood for sci-fi movie classics, there are plenty of better options to check out, including:

  • Homestar Runner
  • Skrillex
  • Hungry Hungry Hippos
  • Dynasty Warriors 7 with Xtreme Legends
  • The Nizhnekamsk Hydroelectric Station
  • Hungry Hungry Hippos (yes, twice on this list — it’s that good)
  • Wheat Thins

Author: Reset Tears

Giantfly is killed. You gained 30 experience points. Giantfly had a treasure chest. Do you want to open it? (Yes) There are 98 mesetas inside.

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