Review of the Influenza Virus

The flu! What even is it?

Pictured: the flu, or a bunch of Tic Tacs

Pictured: the flu, or a bunch of Tic Tacs

This bastard killed at least 25 million people one time, back in 1918. Makes you SICK, doesn’t it?

That’s because it does make you sick.

Things the influenza virus likes to do:

  • Making you sick
  • Making other people sick
  • Listening to dubstep
  • Playing lacrosse
  • Arguing that Pluto should be a planet
  • Posting pictures online of every meal it eats
  • Writing expletives in children’s picture books

Things the influenza virus does NOT like to do:

  • Cleaning the garage
  • Using reusable grocery tote bags
  • Rock climbing
  • Reading Sharkberg posts
  • Cooking fish in the microwave
  • Singing in the library

So with all that in mind, it seems only right that I award the influenza virus a mere… (cough cough) Damn… (cough) (sniff) Uuuuuuuhhhhhh (sniff) (cough cough cough) … (thump)

I’m dead.


Author: Reset Tears

Giantfly is killed. You gained 30 experience points. Giantfly had a treasure chest. Do you want to open it? (Yes) There are 98 mesetas inside.

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