The flu! What even is it?
This bastard killed at least 25 million people one time, back in 1918. Makes you SICK, doesn’t it?
That’s because it does make you sick.
Things the influenza virus likes to do:
- Making you sick
- Making other people sick
- Listening to dubstep
- Playing lacrosse
- Arguing that Pluto should be a planet
- Posting pictures online of every meal it eats
- Writing expletives in children’s picture books
Things the influenza virus does NOT like to do:
- Cleaning the garage
- Using reusable grocery tote bags
- Rock climbing
- Reading Sharkberg posts
- Cooking fish in the microwave
- Singing in the library
So with all that in mind, it seems only right that I award the influenza virus a mere… (cough cough) Damn… (cough) (sniff) Uuuuuuuhhhhhh (sniff) (cough cough cough) … (thump)