McPixel (PC) Review

Let’s play a game called McPixel!

mcpixel title

“Mak Pix-Elle!”

So this is a game where you click stuff, and then things happen. Just like in real life!

Well, okay.

Well, okay.

This place looks like fun...

This place looks like fun…

Click something

Click something

Basically, this is like those old-school point-and-click adventure games, but this time you only get a dozen or so seconds to figure out what things you need to click. Your character will walk over to the thing you click, and potentially do something. Sometimes you can’t tell what it is that’s on the screen, but that hardly matters–just click it.

Let's try giving the cotton candy man some of his cotton candy...

Let’s try giving the cotton candy man(?) some of his cotton candy(?)…

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

It turns out McPixel is the most realistic video game I’ve ever had the fortune of playing, as it clearly shows how little control we have over our lives, and just how little we can influence the world around us. Also, the way everything explodes for no reason. And also, there’s no sound? Just an endless, nerve-wracking, 10-second jingle that loops forever… and ever… and ever! “MAK PIX-ELLE!”

I don’t know if there’s anything else of importance left to say about McPixel. I guess I can explain the joke? Basically, the joke goes like this:

You click on something, and your character will either

a) do something needlessly violent… OR

b) something random will happen (hypothetical example: a pinecone will sprout wings, fly off-screen, and subsequently return with a giant Easter egg, from which will hatch Godzilla in a business suit, who then hands you a cupcake)

AND THEN…

…everything explodes. So try clicking something else next time?

In short, McPixel is almost certainly one of the greatest video games of all time, and I highly recommend it to everyone. It’s basically Youtube Poop meets WarioWare, but with more chickens, more crotch-kicking, and (somehow) more explosions.

sharkberg 1

sharkberg 1

 

sharkberg 1

 

You gonna click something?

sharkberg 2

Oh no

Author: Reset Tears

Giantfly is killed. You gained 30 experience points. Giantfly had a treasure chest. Do you want to open it? (Yes) There are 98 mesetas inside.

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