Jurassic World (2015) Review

Jurassic Park -> The Lost World: Jurassic Park -> Jurassic Park III -> Jurassic World

Where the hell did consistency for titling entries in franchises go? The way of the dodo it seems. (I would say way of the dinosaur, but you know, they exist again.) Anyways! What a mess.

Following the display of cruelty toward sharks, everyone stood up, tore their tickets in half, and promptly left the facility

Following the display of cruelty toward sharks, everyone stood up, tore their tickets in half, and promptly left the facility

Jurassic World is the long-awaited revival to the Jurassic Park series, much like most every other film at the theater these days. But is Jurassic World any good? Hold on to your butts!

The story in this one has a brand new park full of dinosaurs, which turns out to be doing well for itself despite the whole tragedy at the original park, and that thing with T-Rex attacking San Diego, and all the various fatalities at the dinosaur island. But you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few hundred eggs, right? And in Jurassic World they break a whole lot more, as they’ve decided to genetically splice a Super T-Rex that can much more easily get out of control and eat lots of people.

Super T-Rex breaks free, kills everything in sight, and then it’s up to Chris Pratt and his team of trained velociraptors to take it down. Sounds awesome! And at times it is. The film has some entertaining action sequences, and even some amusing lines here and there. But sadly in the end, a really messy script, poor pacing, half-hearted acting, and some really bad characters bring the whole movie down several pegs.

The whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth

The whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth

I’ll just go through each of those points briefly… This film was filled with short random scenes all mashed together, and as a whole it just didn’t leave much of an impact. There was potential in the dynamic between Chris Pratt and the velociraptors, and there was even potential for the subplot of the lead actress (the lady running the new park). But the movie had way too much other nonsense keeping these main arcs down! I’ll whittle down the nonsense to the two (er, three?) main offenders:

  1. The two boys. Granted, nobody cared much for the girl in The Lost World or the boy in JP3, but these two boys take the cake (and throw it in your face!!!) for annoying/unlikeable kid characters. If only Super T-Rex could have eaten them upon their arrival at the front gate.
  2. Mall Cop. I am telling you now with my gravest of expressions, that Jurassic World features none other than Paul Blart as the main human antagonist. And guess how much of a threat this antagonist poses all throughout his way-too-many scenes in the film? AS MUCH AS MALL COP!
"Must go faster!"

“Must go faster!”

But just like in my review of JP3, I’ll still give credit where credit is due. Despite its shortcomings, Jurassic World still manages to at least be a decent popcorn-muncher to idle away a hot summer afternoon. The action is as bombastic as you can hope for from a top-grossing blockbuster, and the grand finale is an especially memorable sequence that features a number of dinosaurs fighting one another in the CG battle of the Jurassic century. It’s enough to say it’s worth sitting through the rest of the film to see this bit, at least.

High Points:

  • The final dinosaur battle is pretty epic
  • Chris Pratt has some good lines
  • Some decent callbacks to the original Jurassic Park (dat nostalgia)
  • The geek at the control room was funny

Low Points:

  • It’s just a dumb action flick
  • The plot is a mess… lots of squandered potential
  • All those subplots that go nowhere…
  • They really needed to cut out half the cast
  • Chris Pratt really could have acted more in some scenes
  • If only the movie could have just been Chris Pratt goes on a road trip with velociraptors

Bottom Line:

I’ll say it’s better than JP3, but it’s still only getting two stars from me! It’s an okay film to see, but keeping your expectations in check is key!


Author: Reset Tears

Giantfly is killed. You gained 30 experience points. Giantfly had a treasure chest. Do you want to open it? (Yes) There are 98 mesetas inside.

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